I dug in the garden. For hours.Hands deep in the dirtwhere once your handsdug, too. Pulled carrots.Potatoes. Onions.Held them up to the airand marveled at what growsin the dark. Asked you questions.As always, you didn’t answer.Or perhaps it’s truer to sayI do not know howto interpret the languageof rain, the messageof the white seed that […]
He is young, and it’s raining,and we are playing on pilesof mud with his sisterthe way we often did.There are channelsof rain water beneath us.We’re covered in mud.Mud on our clothes.Mud on our faces.Our eyes shine brightthrough the mud.I don’t remember he’s dead.Our laughter weavesthrough the rainas if it has wings.And we splash.How I lovethe […]
Thank you Alice Ungerer,for raising young childrenalone in Alsaceafter your husband died.It could not have been easy,especially during the German occupation.Hard enough to raise one child,much less four, even whenthe world is at peace. It’s no surprise your son Tomigrew up to write political satireconsidering how the Wehrmachtrequisitioned your home.Is it strange for me to tell […]
Though I don’t have wingsand though I cannot fly,with my whole body, I felt it,the longing to be so awareof all that is around methat I, too, might move through the worldlike a starling, veering and rising,turning and dropping, whirlingand doubling back in an elegantresponse to what my neighborsare doing. Does the starlingharshly judge its […]
Amidst the sunflowersin full flagrant flowering,I, too, begin to sproutfat orange petalsand feel my head heavywith growing seeds.My mind becomes sun-drunkand I gold and I spiral.This is why you might see mestanding still in the gardenamongst the thick stalks,though there is much to do.Some animals freezeas an instinct to survive,and that may be true of […]
for D I spent yearspracticing howto make my voicedisappearinside hersso we’d blend—and thoughit’s been a yearsince we sang,it’s only weekssince she’s gone,and how strange nowto open my mouth,to listen for her,to hear onlymyself. And Ican’t stop singingbecause it makesme feel closerto her to hearwhere her voicewould be,almost likesilenceis now harmony.
When I say I love you wholehearted,I mean the whole cantaloupe, sweetheart.I mean the strange webby skin andthe sweet, firm flesh and the absolutelyfreaking messy center. I mean the waywe have to wait so patiently until it’s ripe.The way I can smell it across the room.The way it bruises so easily.I mean I am […]
consuming everything I touched.Every surface. Every person.Every minute, every thought.Nothing went unlicked by flame.Everything charred. Seared.Scarred. Ash.It scared and unmade me.I’d never beforebeen so nothing.Had never before lostevery wall, every line,every idea, every mask.Such a merciless,astonishing teacher.Tonight, grief is more a candle.Sometimes, I feel the heat on my skin,smell the acrid singe of my hair.But […]
we call it pollination,a process through which we realizethe gold of our hearts must spill outand if we are to survive as a species,it requires we somehow exchangethis gold with each other—all our heartssplayed open, all our hearts needingwhat the other hearts have.It’s messy. Vulnerable.And this is how we go on.Your grief. My grief.The quiet […]
It is only a matter of time beforethe next monsoon brings a surgeof frothing red water hurtlingdown the gulley, and yet my neighborlandscapes the flood pathwith meticulously placed rocksand raised beds with bright flowers,and every time I drive by I wantto cheer for her foolishness,cheer for all who make beautycertain it will be destroyedand relentlessly […]